PLAYER INFOName: This guy may be the only
Nick that's ever written for me!
Age: Hey guess what he is
basically 40, which is what you are when you are
39.
Contact: Hit this nerd up at
spazztichero on the Plurksies.
Current Characters: ME!! Hi my name is
Deadpool and I have more than one problem.
CHARACTER INFOName: DEADPOOOOOOOL aka Wade definitely not a knockoff of Slade Wilson
Journal:
what_fourth_wallAge: Uh. I dunno. Younger than Wolvie, older than your mom? OOOOOOHHHHH, sick 90s burn!! Because, you know, I was created in the 90s. Oh fine. You mean for real. Let's go with, like 69 or something. NOICE.
Appearance: Fucked uuuuuuuppp. My body is basically one big regenerating tumor. So depending on the artist and/or Ryan Reynolds, I look like a passable burn victim, an avocado with a face, a zombie, spaghetti given sentience, or your mom. Look, I like a good theme, alright? And again...90s. It was a time.
Canon: Marvel Comics, MCU, wherever can shake my moneymaker for the Mouse
Canon Point: Got my own solo series, BAYBEE!! Of course, I always have that because I'm Big Time. I'm better than Wolvie at doing whatever it is Wolvie does. Oh...oh, my boxes are telling me you want specifics. Yeah, that'd be my current solo series by Kelly Thompson where I'm KING OF THE MONSTERS ON STATEN ISLAND!!! ...Wait what? I'm being told that series was cancelled. At 10 issues. That can't be possible. Who the fuck do you think I
am...She-Hulk?!?
This She-Hulk burn brought to you by-[He is cut off as he is squashed with a boulder that flies out of nowhere. This boulder signifies the rejection of his character application oops.]
History: Look, I'm too lazy to type. And you and me, we're on the same page because you
specified Wiki entries are preferred. I like you. You're good people. If you nerds want to know anything about me, somebody made a nice long post over on
Wikipedia. Go. Read. Learn.
Abilities: So basically I'm a constantly healing tumor of a person. Literally a cancer on society. Metaphors!!! Also Thanos cursed me so I couldn't be killed and couldn't get to make sweet sweet love to Death, my one true constant romantic interest. Because Thanos is a big purple testicle that can't blow its load and is a JEALOUS ASSHOLE.
Ahem. Sorry. Tangent. ANYWAYS. I am also like the best merc ever, the Mary Sue of mercs, if Mary Sues were ever fugly. Which they aren't. And also my eyes aren't purple. And ALSO...you fuckers better stop with this sexist hating of ladies who like to be awesome in things okay. Ain't nothin' wrong with wanting to be awesome in the properties you love! I'm not even down with hating on Wesley Crusher, who is basically the FIRST Mary Sue ironically enough, because Wil Wheaton is a delightful human being. Erm. 90s again. NOT SORRY.
What does best merc ever mean? Oh you know. Master of all weapons, amazing fighter, better than Wolverine, etc. Oh yeah, and my insanity basically means my fighting style is too chaotic to keep up with. And my mind is agony to telepaths who try to get up in there.
Questionnaire:
1. What do they care deeply about? What kind of loyalties, commitments, moral codes, life philosophies, passions, callings or spirituality and faith do they have? How do these tend to be expressed?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA~
[This laughing goes on for a while, so the narration will try to answer. He doesn't really believe anything is real, because his fourth walling means he knows of too many other "real" things to believe in any absolute reality. That kinda shit fucks with your head. As such, his loyalties and commitments are pretty ephemeral, but this does kind of make up some kind of nihilistic philosophy, maybe? But he does always really want to be a hero, despite failing at it constantly because he finds it hard to define what a hero really is. All he knows is he will always try to protect kids and kill assholes for money but not good people. He is surprisingly loyal to his buds, but takes betrayal - and what he perceives as betrayal - very, very hard. Look, the mutants are stupid isolationist butt monkey fascists who won't let him in on their stupid little Krakoa sex cult and it makes him cry himself to sleep at night, okay? All he wants is a good friend that he can trust, or maybe a love interest that doesn't try to murder him. But he also doesn't think he's good enough for any of that, so he tends to self-sabotage when he actually gets it. The man is deeply depressed on the inside. Not that you'd know it by interacting with him. Because...]
~HAHAHAHAHAA...wait, what was the question again?
2. What kind of person could they become in the future? What are some developmental paths that they could take: best, worst, most likely?
Your mom. 90s!!!
(Sigh. What he means is he doesn't ever really change. It's the lot of comic characters, and he's pretty extreme in that way. He will grow in one title only to be reset for the next. However, because people seem to really like him, he tends to move inexorably towards being a hero more than a villain. But a core element of him is that he doesn't change much.
HOWEVER...in RP he has changed a bit over time. He's a little better at forming lasting relationships because he's met some good people who have NOT betrayed him. There are more lucid, reasonable, serious moments than there ever used to be. This is the "best" video game ending.
But if he is betrayed, he could backslide into a lot of self-sabotage and go on a psychotic asshole bender, just killing things and being a shit all over the place because what does any of it matter if none of it is real anyway?]
3. How do they behave within a group? What role(s) do they take? Does this differ if they know and trust the group, versus finding themselves in a group of strangers? Why?
/7I'm a bitch, I'm a lover, I'm a child, I'm a mother, I'm a sinner, I'm a saint, AND I DO NOT FEEL ASHAMED, I'm your hell, I'm your dream, I'm nothing in-between, you know you wouldn't want it any other way~/7
[This about sums it up. Pop culture references, acting out, etc. It can actually be worse if he knows and trusts the group. Because, you guessed it, self-sabotage.]
4. What do they need and want out of relationships, and how do they go about getting it?
SMUT!!!!
[Hurgh. Well. You probably get the picture by now. But additionally, whether he realizes it or not, he seeks validation that he is real, that he matters, but he denies it when people try to give it to him. As to how he goes about getting it? In the worst ways possible, trust me.]
5. How do they understand the world–what kind of worldview and thought processes do they have? Why?
[Gestures vaguely at basically this whole application. Deadpool himself has checked out at the moment because he is easily distracted and saw a Mexican food truck.]
6. How much do they rely on their minds and intellect, versus other approaches like relying on instinct, intuition, faith and spirituality, or emotions?
[You know, he relies on his mind quite a lot actually. His insanity tends to make him extremely clever. There are a baker's dozen regenerating characters with sharp pointy things out there, but Deadpool is a cut above the rest because of how he approaches things. It's easy to regenerate and kill, but it takes a special kind of person to escape Domino by confronting her with her phobia of chickens.]
7. What is something others might find intolerable about them?
This application? Basically everything? The fact that I take nothing seriously, am a complete asshat at the most inappropriate times, inspire a bunch of neckbeards to ALSO be asshats, and never stop talking? I'm like if somebody asked the question, what if Spider-Man were exponentially more annoying?
[Oh hey, welcome back.]
Thank you!!! I was playing Stardew Valley. Why is that game so addicting? I just named a pig Threshy because every time it finds a truffle, it BLOWS MY MIND.
Samples: Does this entire app count? No? @!$@#$! FINE. Let me dig for links.
Teddy Abuse |
Uh I kind of have a problem with ducks.Look, that second one gets WEIRD. Also, I'm counting this app as a writing sample.
[Hey buddy, read the syllabus. They specifically said "less than a year old". And we are old as dirt and those links are...look, just don't look at the time stamps if we don't want to feel a 90s kid stumbling into a current twitter thread debating Simps and Alphas.]
Where my Vines at?
[It's TikToks now.]
#!$!@#$%
Okay, current. Um. Current.
Bugging Jen IN YOUR GAME!!! |
Discussing how the X-Men are fascist JERKS |
I like collecting ElenoresTHERE! Following the rules. But I still like those first two entries.
Why are you interested in this game? Because it has my FRANDS!!!! And I need to get out more. Do you KNOW how sad it is that SWS and WWW are basically wastelands of RP now? Of course you do. It's why you made this here game. ALSO. Other games are intimidating and this one looks like it both has structure and yet is chill. I like paradoxes. I can hang with that.
But mostly FRANDS.
[And trolling those "frands".]